Hardball Heaven

ESPN Breaking News flash
Stu Scott: We are live on site at a Texaco station in Murfreesboro, Mississippi. As we understand it, from multiple sources there at the scene, Brett Favre is currently in the mens' room talking on his cell phone to somebody in the state of Minnesota...

Let's go to Michelle Candaya for a live report. Michelle, thank you girl for staying on the scent of the great Brett Favre. From the vibe you're getting there, anything you may have seen or heard, do you think Brett is seriously contemplating coming back to play again in 2009?

Michelle: Stu, I think he's doing exactly what he did last year... talking it over with people... assessing his opportunities, trying to make a smart decision... he's also got his shoulder to think about and whether he can withstand the rigors of an NFL season. If the warrior can't be a warrior, you know, it's not going to work.

Stu: Mish, thank you for withstanding the rigors of staking out a mens' room in Murfreesboro, Mississippi. We're all hoping that Brett comes back and continues to prove his doubters wrong.

*****

Okay, got that off my chest. It's truly sad what ESPN has become with its constant, fawning coverage of Favre, who last I checked still pretty much sucked.

It's another huge sporting night here in the Hub, with the Celtics and Bruins both playing in - say it together - pivotal playoff games; and the Red Sox playing the Angels later out on the West Coast.

As of this very moment, there's a little more than 2 minutes left in the B's game and they've got a 4-2 lead over Carolina. The 'Canes just emptied their net and added another skater. Strap yourself in...

Chara just took a huge slapshot in the ankle and looks like he's wounded, but he's staying on.... over a minute... Canes can't get it going... one minute...

Recchi picks it off... kills time. 45 seconds. A little bit of pressure but B's clear it. 14 seconds... and the Bruins force a Game 7 after being down 3-1.

Now over to the Celtics-Magic, Game 5 at the Garden. It's 55-46 Magic in the third, and the C's look pretty lethargic. Rondo just picked up his fourth foul on a charge, and Stephon Marbury (gulp) is manning the point. He's already launched and missed two straight shots. (Big Baby's mohawk is killing me. For me, he's been the most fun part of these playoffs, the way he's become such a valuable player almost overnight. His last-second, game-winning shot in Game 4 - and his reaction - will be remembered for a long time).

Ray Allen just made a beautiful behind-the-back dribble and drive for a lay-up, the Celtics can't seem to stop Rashard Lewis. Celts are down 62-54 now with a minute left in the third quarter. (There just doesn't seem to be a buzz in the arena tonight). Celts can't seem to get closer than 5 points... last possession of the quarter... and they can't score. They're down by 8 heading into the fourth...I must say, I don't feel good about this one. More later after the Sox get going in Annyheim.

It was uncanny regarding Manny. When I heard the news today that Manny Ramirez had been suspended for 50 games for violating MLB's steroid policy, I was stunned and I thought about how the guys they usually catch are the ones with the least gray matter up there. Clemens, for instance. Then I'm driving home, and my old college roommate calls me up and says in a phone message, "It's always the mental midgets... I'm telling you... track, baseball, football... just look for the stupidest guys who love looking at themselves in the mirror."

Yes, it's true, and the ramifications for us as Boston Red Sox fans could be troubling, but believe me, we're nowhere near "there" yet. Supposedly, he took some type of fertility drug that steroid users often take. Manny's written statement said that he was prescribed a medication by his doctor and he had no idea it was a banned substance. As Bob Ryan points out, if anyone is capable of such a goofy oversight, it's this clown. I also wanted to see what the Manny-loving LA Times' take was, and to my surprise, they had a story with a great quote from convicted 'roid dealer Victor Conte:

HCG is one of dozens of substances prohibited under baseball's drug policy. Players can call a hotline to check on the legality of any substances, and they can obtain a therapeutic use exemption for any legitimate medical use of a banned substance.

"This is failing more than a drug test," Conte said. "This is failing an IQ test. He can call an 800 number to ask about any product that he's taking. To think that a player who's making $45 million didn't do that, or have any agent or any of his numerous advisors check out what he said was a prescribed medication defies belief."

Manny has a way of defying belief, doesn't he? We'll see what happens from here on out, but if it's proven that Manny was juicing during 2004 and 2007, we're now officially dragged into this mess. And that won't be fun.