Hardball Heaven

Our discombobulated baseball commissioner has hired the chairman of Walt Disney to investigate the greatest cheat in baseball history, and to pull back the covers on what Fay Vincent calls the biggest baseball scandal since the 1919 tanking Black Sox. Only in America.

George Mitchell - former senator from the great state of Maine, and Senate Majority Leader - is officially on board as the lead investigator, a move prompted in part by the explosive SI cover story a couple weeks back that broke new ground on Bonds' steroid abuse. Mitchell, a part-owner of the Red Sox believe it or not, is a human Swiss army knife when it comes to dealing with crisis. This guy could negotiate peace with bin Laden.

Meanwhile, Barry's world is slowly but surely unraveling and it's going to get ugly. My only hope is that he's forced to retire from the game, either in 'cuffs or on crutches, before he has a chance to break the record. That would be sweet.

By the way, how long until Reverend Jesse gets involved in this? (I'm just sayin'...)