Hardball Heaven

The Pats-Vikings game is just entering the 4th quarter and Tom Brady & Co. have pretty much invaded the Vikings home, scrawled graffiti on their walls, ripped up their furniture, defecated on the rugs, and taken one giant collective piss on the front lawn. How's them for visuals?

It's 31-7 with 12:52 left, and it's been a thorough dismantling. Defense, offense, special teams, offense. On Monday Night Football, no less, which Belichick won't like because the Pats will no longer be a 6-1 team flying under the radar.

Brady has carved up the Vikings' secondary like a turkey. Check out these numbers: 28 for 39, 364 yards, 4 TD's. He's completed passes to 10 different receivers, and four different guys have caught touchdown passes. And oh, by the way, there's still more than 10 minutes left in the game. Brady just got sacked twice - Bill, throw Matt Cassel in there. Pleeeze.

Anyway, the Vikings laid a gigantic egg in this one. All we heard about all week was the vaunted offensive line, Steve Hutchinson this, Bryant McKinnie that, Chester Taylor, blah, blah, blah. Maybe Minnesota is good and they're just having a really bad night, or maybe they still suck. I'm still mad at them for that 41-3 shellacking they took against the Giants back in the NFC playoffs a few years back. I had a vested interest in that game, and let's just say I was out shopping at Home Goods with the wife before the first quarter had ended. The Vikings always throw up on themselves.

Some random thoughts from watching the game tonight:

- ESPN has officially become a caricature of itself. It's got so much money, and so much ego, that it just can't help itself. The halftime "race" of mascots dressed like Berman, Irvin, Young, etc., was sad. I'm hoping it wasn't ESPN's idea.

- Two female sideline reporters? Seriously? Can we at least get Melissa Stark back (gratuitous opportunity to post hot picture of Melissa Stark...)

- In the booth, I have to admit I kind of like Tony Kornheiser, but I'm not a fan of Joe Theismann. The former athlete who can provide commentary on a game without talking down to his audience has it right. Theismann is constantly lecturing.

- Just read that Bill Belichick's 19-year old son was arrested for having a small amount of weed on him. Tell me BB didn't inhale when he was at Wesleyan in the late 60's.

- I love dominating wins on the road. The Patriots drove 90 yards on their first drive, effectively putting a muzzle on the rowdy crowd. Beautiful.

- Gotta love the shots of the respective owners in their luxury suites. There's Bob Kraft, looking like he's tipped a few scotches back, laughing and joking with Prince Jonathan - and then there's Vikings owner Zygi Wolf, looking like - well - someone just took a dump in his living room.

- Laurence Maroney is a STUD. Just biding his time - profesionally at that - until Corey wins another ring. This kid's going to be around for a long time. Doesn't give up on a play and knows how to deliver a head-butt.

- It's now 31-7 with less than 3 minutes left and we're watching Matt Cassel duel Brooks Bollinger. About time Coach Bill wised up and gave the franchise a break.

- New England's defense is vastly underrated, but that may change with this white-washing. If this score holds, the Pats will have given up an average of 9 points per game over their last four. They haven't allowed more than 17 points in a game this year.

- One last note - Bollinger just had the Vikes down at the Pats' 10-yard line and threw another pick. I actually feel bad for these guys. Lots of purple face paint wasted on this one.

- Indy vs. New England, next Sunday night, in Foxborough. The return of Adam Vinatieri, who's now helping Peyton Manning win games. Tom Brady and his now-clicking offense. And the Pats' suddenly dominant D. Yee-hah. Take the over. Best of all, I'll be in a hot tub in Palm Beach watching the proceedings on a big-screen with an umbrella drink in my hand.